Monday, October 29, 2012

Today we buried my Dad.

There isn't really much to say.

A day I would rather not have had to experience is nearly at an end. As a family, we have the honour of the man we loved being celebrated by many hundreds of people. I don't know how many there were but they filled over 500 seats and filled all the standing room. They came to honour my Dad and to support us and while it doesn't take our pain away or that heaving empty hole that seems to be growing rather than shrinking inside us, it certainly makes the next steps we must take a little less scary.

Is there any better place than the shoulders of your Poppy?

I struggled for a few days with what I wanted to say at the funeral. This is what I wrote, it was what I want my girls to know about the man who meant so much to me..

Mr H read on my behalf. He did good.


When you lose the most extraordinary father in the world you cry for many reasons and one of them is knowing that your young children will miss out on experiencing the wonder of him. So I will need to remind them of his love of reading The Age newspaper, of their trips to learn about and discover native wildflowers in the bush and how he took them on adventures in the ute.

I will tell them how strongly he believed that you should stand up for what you know is wrong and defend those that can’t do it for themselves.

I shall tell my girls how their grandfather believed being honest was one of the greatest traits you could ever have and that generosity should have few limits.

I will tell them stories about how he used sticky tape across my forehead to ensure he cut my fringe straight for too many years and of how on my first ever date with a boy I found him waiting INSIDE the actual cinema, a couple of rows behind me, not outside in the car as I requested. I will tell them that he was a man with buckets full of tolerance, that he was humble, strong, funny and so very very wise. I will remind them of how he was always so much fun to be around and how much they loved his visits.

Now I have a new story to tell them, the story of how incredibly brave he was when Amyloidosis came to visit him, how he fought while he could because there is just so much to do in life. There are always new people to meet, places to see and things to be a part of. I will tell them of the enormous love they received from him and how he adored us all beyond words.

I asked Mum how Dad would want people to remember him, she said that only last week he had told her that of all things, he wanted to be remembered as an honest man. I expect this wish will be easily fulfilled.

Lastly, I will remind them often of the words he once said to me. “Clairey, You only get one life, so get busy living!”



R.I.P Dad, we will all love you forever and ever.

41 comments:

  1. Oh damn Clairey - he would be SO proud. Beautiful, beautiful words. Sending hugs. x

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  2. Oh Claire. I am so sorry. What beautiful words, your Dad would be very proud. xxx

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  3. Beautiful words Claire. Sending my love and thoughts to you and your family. xx

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  4. Utterly beautiful. I don't know how you found the strength x

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  5. Beautiful words Clairey. Thinking of you and your family xx

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  6. I feel your loss so profoundly. for reasons I won't go into here. Keep telling your children all your stories about him, with that he will live on in your heart, and theirs. light, love and strength beautiful xxxx

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  7. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry Claire. I didn't know your news until now. Your words are beautiful and your Dad would be so proud. I'm sorry for your huge loss x

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  8. Oh Claire, what beautiful words for a beautiful man. My thoughts and love are with you today, and will remain with you in the coming months. And a gallon of rescue remedy is on it's way to you gorgeous xx

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  9. The most beautiful words. I am so so sorry for your loss xxxx

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  10. Claire, I am so so sorry to hear this. What a beautiful tribute, he would be so proud. Thinking of you. Mel xx

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  11. I knew your words would be beautiful and they were so much more (once I was able to decipher them through the tears). He sounds like a wonderful man who will continue to live on through you all. Take care my friend xx

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  12. Clairey I'm so so sorry. Life can be just so unfair. I think that it's what our parents won't see in our children that gets us the most. Take care of yourself lovely lady. I've been thinking of you x

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  13. You'll feel his love forever and always, as will your darling children. The words and memories you've shared with us today, sweet Clairey, are just beautiful and touching. I lost my dad suddenly nearly 8 years ago, he died in my arms. Burying him was one of the hardest, most distressing days of my life, but just like you said, the grief lessens slightly when you see the hall overflowing with people that loved and adored your father. It makes you proud that he had touched the lives of so many. Your darling Dad lives on in you and his beautiful grandchildren. Sending you & your family lots of love & strength xxxx

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  14. Beautiful words and memories Clairey. so sorry to read of your loss. Wishing you and your loved ones comfort in the times ahead.

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  15. I am so sorry for your loss Clairey. You have been in my thoughts. xx

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  16. Such sadness, Clairey, so beautifully expressed. My thoughts are with you and your family. Dear Dads. x

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  17. I've been thinking of you bucket loads , hugs, healing and light to you and your family on the loss of your Dad.xox

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  18. Oh goodness. A beautiful tribute to your Dad. I'm so sorry, to all of you, for your huge loss x

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  19. So sorry for your loss, Claire. Beautifully written. Your dad sounds like an awesome man, father and grandfather. My thoughts are with your family.

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  20. I am so sorry. Peace and strength to you. xx

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  21. Clairey - beautiful words. Thank you for sharing. Sending you love x

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  22. Beautiful words... a fitting tribute to what sounds like a wonderful man and a fantastic life. Take care.

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  23. My condolences to you and your family. Your words from the heart will be remembered and your dad would be so proud.

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  24. There are tears for you and your family as I read this. I am so very sorry for your loss - a Dad and a Poppy like yours leaves a big hole when it is their time to go. I hope peace finds you all again some time soon x

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  25. Oh Clairey, how I wish to give you a huge hug. I can't even imagine the pain you must be feeling, but reading this, I feel immensely sad for the loss of your beautiful and memorable Dad. Whatever I write here doesn't feel like it's enough, but I am so, so saddened for you and your family. He will always be remembered. xxx

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  26. No words could ever be enough. Your Mum is lucky to have a Daughter like you to help her through just remember to let people in to help you too.
    When my nanna passed away I kept thinking of the times I would miss out on but mum said to be thankful for the time we did have because we were lucky to have that time at all.

    All my love xxx

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  27. Amazing tribute for an amazing man. What wonderful lessons for all of us. Thank you for sharing, Claire. Our thoughts are with all of you at this time.

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  28. Beautiful words from an amazing talented daughter. My thoughts are with you, Mr H and the kids.

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  29. You hit the nail on the head with your words. Well done. Love to you all now as reality sets in Xxxxxx

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  30. A privilege to read your words and your thoughts on your dad. It's a long road ahead for you all. Death seems so final, it's still a shock to me that I will never see my Dad again. But on the other hand, the dead are all around us, on another plane, perhaps just in our thoughts.

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  31. My darling Claire and a dear friend. You wrote beautiful words to honor your dad today. He was a strong stoic man who has raised a doubly strong wonderful daughter. He would have been so proud and humbled by your tribute to him. Sending all my love to you, Mr H and your two beautiful girls.

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  32. Sending lots of virtual hugs to you right now Claire.
    Such a beautiful sentiment to your Dad. He'd be so proud.
    Sorry for your loss.
    x

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  33. They are beautiful words lovely Claire. What a wonderful example of good living your Dad is. No wonder you are the beautiful woman you are today. Xxx

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  34. Beautiful words Claire. So sorry. My thought as with you and your family

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  35. Beautiful words, Claire. I think it's amazing that you wrote this and well done to Mr H for reading it out. Lots of love. xxx

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  36. Such beautiful words Claire. x

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  37. My thoughts are certainly with you Claire, very sorry to hear of your loss. Your words are so moving, I'm sure your dad would be incredibly proud. xxx

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  38. Claire, what beautiful beautiful words. I know he'd be beaming with pride with them. So sad for your loss. What an amazing father. Lots of love. xxx

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  39. So sorry for your loss, all your family. Sending love & strength. What wise words from your dad & what beautiful words for him from you.
    Heidi xo

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