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Friday, March 16, 2012

No more shiny new babies for me.


This week I went walking with a friend.

We walked the river on the most perfect day for river walking. She had her fancy new shiny pram with a matching shiny new baby boy in it. I love prams, the right pram can change a Mums day, but that is another story.

When we made it to a park on the other side of the river we sat for my girls, who seemed so gigantic next to the shiny new baby, to have a play and for shiny new baby to have a feed.

My girls were like seagulls, waiting for that feed to finish and then fighting over who got to sit next to shiny new baby.

We had to have a system of one gets to touch his toes, the other his hands, taking turns of sitting closest.

My girls would love a new baby. Immy told her creche carers that Mummy was having a baby, and it is a boy. They believed her and asked me how the pregnancy was going.

That should have fuelled my desire to get to the gym, but I seriously think that part of the brain people talk about, about how they feel so good after the gym, I am missing that section.

Back to the shiny new baby. He is everything a shiny new baby is. Gorgeous, snuggly, sweet, smells of newborn and oh so clean. Clean car seat, clean pram, clean fingers.

And I can very clearly say, I am not in the market for a shiny new baby.

While I really love the idea of big families, I am also well aware of my limits.

I am packing up the bubba stuff and making space for new things, initially I did feel a tiny pang of emotion thinking that the baby days were gone, but then I realised I will never have to scrub the grooves in the highchair again and I knew everything was going to be alright.

Two is the number for us.

How about you? Did you know when you were 'done'? Was it decided for you? Do you think you will ever be 'done'?  Do you think you can have too many prams?  Should I stop asking questions all the time?

20 comments:

  1. I am fast coming to the realisation that 2 is for us. Whilst I think Rob would always love one more, and in theory I would too, I just know in my heart that I don't have it in me. Time to move on...

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  2. we have 2, and i am pregnant with number 3. it was planned. i am scared, but know when they are older it will be great. the baby years are hard. 3 will be our number, financially, emotionally and physically. the baby stuff goes after this one, no question. i 'know' this is my last pregnancy.

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  3. I always wanted three, and ended up with 4. Two step daughters and two daughters of my own. So that decided it! Lately I have been thinking about the 'if only' we had a boy, but these moments are fleeting. Girls are perfect I must say. (Well most of the time anyway).

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  4. Hi There!
    I am new to this blogging thing but I just want to say how much I love your blog...it is so interesting. I would love it if you could follow my blog. My blog address in marriedwithablog.com...thanks so much!
    Dianna Mertz

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  5. I thought we were done with our two. We talked about having just the two but despite my post the other day about my relief at a negative pregnancy test I'm still feeling a little odd and thinking perhaps it was a false negative... So we may be having a number three... Gulp. Another baby would be so wonderful but my gawd, scared doesn't come close to describing how I feel right now. Going back to that shiny baby stage freaks me out to no end!! I love to look at them and cuddle them, but I love giving them back to their mums even more!!

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  6. Two is it for me too cos I can't physically have another. I'm not sure I wanted more but I still haven't gotten over the choice being taken away. Your girls sound like my gorgeous nieces who can't wait to hold our bubs. It's adorable. Xxx

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    Replies
    1. I think I would be the same Cat. When you make the decision yourself, then you really know, but when the decision is made for you it would be an odd feeling to accept.

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  7. I am also really aware of my limits. I know two is the number for us too. But, every so often a crazy thought sneaks in and says "just one more". And then I come back to reality and think NO WAY. I've got just as much insanity as I can handle right now.

    I love the way your girls loved the shiny baby.

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  8. Never say never.

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  9. We're done. Well, my husband is. Me, not so much. I've always seen myself with four children and when my nephew comes to stay things just feel 'right' but James is adamant that 3 will do. I am kind of crushed.

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  10. Yes, very much done.

    I've been quite open about wanting a daughter but knowing in my heart that two was always going to be it for me.

    I'm in love with a dream basically... not the idea of having another baby. Heh. =)

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    Replies
    1. Text book babies, or maybe if a baby came along via the stork, with their own nanny....maybe.

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  11. I've just had my first and definitely want a big family! But who knows. Fletch is only 7 weeks old and things could certainly change as the demands change in the future. I just love the thought of having lots of little ones around. Who knows!

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  12. Being the eldest in a large family, I've always pictured myself with only two. Now that I have two, and the youngest is a toddler, I do find myself getting nostalgic for those shiny new baby days... but I don't think nostalgia is a good enough reason to go there again. Like you, I know my limits. I admire women who cope with 3 or more, but I have a feeling it'd be the undoing of me!

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  13. I have one although we had always said two. Then one came along and we realised how much time, effort and money went into one and the fact that we were limited with all of those made us realise we should stop at one. She is nearly 20 and about 3 or 4 years ago I had a 'maybe we should have another one' moment when I was in the car one day - thankfully it past about 2kms down the road when I thought 'where the hell did that thought come from - I could no more start over than fly' - we are really happy with one. There are pros and cons for both small and large families and so long as you are happy with your decision - that is what matters.
    Have a fantastic weekend !
    Me

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  14. I always thought 3 boys would be good - well I hit the jackpot! 3 boys in 3 1/2 years, with a miscarraige squeezed in. I am just coming out of the haze as they are now 5,7 and 9. I knew 3 was enough, sometimes I think 2 was probably my limit!
    Jacqueline

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  15. Going completely against the grain here but even though I already have 4 I just don't feel like I'm done. Madness! Maybe it has something to do with the fact that the last 2 came together as twins and so I didn't get that 4th pregnancy I was anticipating or maybe it's because they are getting older and I feel I could go back for another day. If you asked me this in the first 6 months after the twins were born I would have definitely said "no new shiny babies for me, thank you very much!". Who knows. I really loved this Post!

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  16. Loved this post. Enjoyed all the comments, glad to know that there are other women who go through the same feelings/processes regarding family planning. We had 2 boys, & had loosely discussed the magic number of children before starting our family. I always liked a nice round 4 & 2 of each sex if i could choose. Hubby said maybe 2 would be good, he wasn't even sure how he would go with 1. After having the boys (2yrs apart) I wasn't 'done'. We had lengthy conversations about it, I did want a girl, but I was very honest with myself & my husband & came to the conclusion it wasn't just that alone that had my heart longing. Eventually we came to a compromise, we set a date to conceive & if we didn't then that was it for us. We did, 3 months before the deadline. We now have 2 boys (6yrs & 4yrs) & a girl (2yrs). I still would like 4 & if I KNEW it would be a girl then I would definitely go ahead. We discussed having a 4th when our baby girl was about 2months old, I wasn't ready obviously & due to the previous discussions I didn't really believe my husband was serious. Later on, we did have the actual discussion & decided although we now both would like another baby/child 3 is more than enough for us. Presently, our family dynamic is very stressful & frustrating at times, so I am pleased that we decided we were 'done'. I am lucky that my best girlfriend in the world, is just starting her family, so I get to soak in her shiny new babies & then give them back & be a shoulder to cry on while my girlfriend finds her way through the forest that we have cleared. Angela

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  17. I have two little boys and I can definitely say two is my limit physically, financially, rationally. My irrational, emotional self says "I wanna girl"! But I know it would break me, so I'm doing my best to be satisfied with my two adorable, high energy boys! I have a niece so I will tkae out all my girly pink, sparkly, princess yearnings on her :)

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  18. It's always one of life's great rewards to be able to choose what number is right. x

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