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Friday, October 22, 2010

Friday's Find; Blogs, bogans and Woogs

This week's find is one of my all time fav reads.

Mrs Woog from Woogsworld is F.U.N.N.Y!

Mrs Woog, and that is woog as in boog, not wog as in bog, so she tells me, is classified as a Mummy Blogger cos she has two kids (the woogettes) and a Mr Woog. But she is so much more than that. She is, bugger those two children and a weak pelvic floor, wet ya pants laughing funny.

However trying to explain the style of a funny blogger is tricky, so I asked Mrs Woog to write a post for me and (jump in the air with excitement) she said yes!

I gave her the title "The inner bogan in all of us"

She has done me proud



You say Bogan like it is a bad thing
According to Wikipedia, The term bogan (pronounced /ˈboʊɡən/, rhymes with "slogan") is Australian and New Zealand English slang, usually pejorative or self-deprecating, for a person who is perceived to be from a lower class background or someone whose limited education, speech, clothing, attitude and behaviour exemplifies such a background. [

Similar slang terms and concepts exist in other countries, including: chav, scally and pikey in England; ned in Scotland; scanger in Ireland; zef in South Africa; tokkie in the Netherlands; Proll in Germany; white trash or redneck in North America; ars in Israel and lumpen or lumpenproletariat in Russia.

It is a universal concept. I am a bogan from birth. I grew up in the western suburbs of Sydney, slightly west of Mount Druitt, the bogan capital of Sydney, if not Australia.

We wore our jeans tight and stonewashed.

Not only did I grow up there, but did most of this growing in the 80’s, which I believed then and still do, to be the bogan glory years. When bigger was better and louder was best. We were called westies back then. And did not know anyone else but westies and thought everyone was the same, apart from the really cool dudes on 21 Jump Street. But even then on reflection. They were really just bogans with guns.

I think your heritage never really leaves you. I now live in a part of Sydney full of pinot sipping monarchists who drive Volvos. But there is no prouder moment I have than watching Mr Woog hoon up to Bunnings wearing his Bonds Wife Beater in his 1975 Holden Ute which is so crap the floor recently fell out of it. And he only ever turns up the radio in it really loudly when the Angels come on singing “Am I ever Gunna See your Face Again…. Nowaygetfuckedfuckoff. And he lifts weights to Rose Tattoo’s “We Can’t be Beaten” in the garage.

Mr Woog. Cultural. Intelligent. Bogan.

Some people get confused as to where they fit on the Bogan Wheel, so I have concocted a little survey to complete. It is a bit like sitting for your driving test, but hopefully not just passing because you showed the gross old man from the RTA your boobs.

The first time you got pissed was

a)At your 18th Birthday Party with your parents on 2 glasses of wine

b)After skulling a hip flask of vodka at a Blue Light Disco

c)After skulling rocket fuel at the skate ramp

Your First Celebrity Crush was

a)Prince Andrew

b)Simon le Bon

c)Ozzie Osbourne

You have tattoos…..

a)Nowhere and think they are disgusting

b)A small butterfly on your ankle

c)A tramp stamp featuring a dolphin smoking a bong surrounded by frangipanis as well as your 7 kids names down your arms along with their full birth dates. And your eyebrows are tattooed on. Also a bit of bright blue eyeliner. But that is it for this year.

At your wedding you wore…

a)A Joanna Johnson gown

b)A crystal covered strapless dress by a shop in Wetherill Park.

c)A crystal covered strapless and backless dress by a shop in Wetherill Park with elbow length white gloves

Your Ideal meal would be…

a)Italian in Norton Street

b)BBQ in the Backyard

c)McDonalds Family Dinner Box in the car.

Please circle the correct spelling

a)Tiffany

b)Tiffani

c)Typhanee

Ed Hardy is

a)Who?

b)Pretty Bad

c)A fucking genius

Your Ideal Man

a)is caring, supportive and shares your values and beliefs

b)has a good job and is a good dad

c)is hung like a donkey, the last one standing at a keg party, nearly always calls you the correct name and loves Jim Beam, Ed Hardy and Tatts.

If you score mostly A, you are not a bogan. But I do suspect that you’re extremely dull and only ever do it in the Missionary Position and never eat carbs after 10am.

Mostly B’s? Where the majority fit in. Welcome. You understand the principals of boganism and are aware when you start to drift towards the line. You are able to self-check your actions and smarten up your act a bit. Although you still get a bit feral when you hear Metallica.

And my lovely ancestral sisters who find themselves in the C group. Thank God for you, but why are you either super runty skinny or morbidly obese? You make life colourful, give us unique spellings, keep the piercing industry in business and make sure you are heard wherever you go. The world needs folk like you. Do not change. The only thing I ask is please stop wearing leggings as pants.

Apart from that, as you were.



Thank you Mrs Woog for doing my very first guest post and for everyone else, you may now head over to Woogsworld. (Tena's may be required if you haven't been keeping up the exercises).


PS For those that can't remember the image is of Johnny Depp from his 21 Jump Street days.

25 comments:

  1. I seem to be reading a lot about Bogans today. They seem a rather jolly bunch, I'm sure my sister would be married to one if we were Aussies, sadly she just married a chav.

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  2. I love her, I really love her. I even still love her now that I know she grew up WEST of Mt Druitt (is there such a place?) I'm also of bogan ancestory on both my parents' sides having grown up SOUTH of The Shire. x

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  3. haha I got mostly B's, and one C for my tramp stamp of a bong smoking dolphin bhahaha

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  4. LOVE this post and it had me reminiscing over my time in the 80s too. Bubblegum jeans, ugg boots, flannel shirts, perms, romes, desert boots, duffle coats, Rose Tattoo and INXS.

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  5. God so glad im a B~!! funny post as always
    Ali
    x

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  6. You made me feel young with the "your first crush" question. Uhh they're all like, my parents age or older :X
    I completely lost it with the tramp stamp of a bong smoking dolphin and frangapani's!

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  7. Kymmie, I forgot about the bogans and the bubblegum jeans, they were really really bad!

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  8. OMFG! I think I may have peed a little. That was priceless thank you so very much.

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  9. I live in a suburb known as the bogan capital of a region known for its cultivation of bogans. My ex was quite surprised when I told him where I grew up; he actually displayed pride in the fact that I had a degree and could string a full sentence together, considering where I had grown up.

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  10. Rock on, boganism. I'm a bogan in a purple house and proud of it. ;)

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  11. Love Mrs Woog and her tales (sorry, real life adventures!) And growing up in Newcastle...well, I have to admit that I get it. Proud of it too just quietly...ok, very quietly!

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  12. I am your new follower. You can follow me back at http://showmemama.com. Make sure you leave a comment so I know you visited.

    Have a great weekend
    ShowMeMama

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  13. they were the good years, bad spiral perms and the blue eyeliner..the best days of one life..what about the sandi jeans with the zips up the side of the leg.. yes l agree wish people would stop wearing leggings as jeans!! Yes lm a B girl! and proud of it.

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  14. Great post - hilarious, Mrs Woog!

    And gorgeous photo of Johnny Depp too. Yep, I wear my boganity on my sleeve sometimes...

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  15. "Apart from that, as you were." Hilarious!

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  16. Hilarious ! is there really a west of Mount Druitt ??? Show me the map !
    I confess to growing up there too in 'outer' Mount Druitt...mostly in the 70's. Like I had a choice ?
    Then we moved in my teens.

    I spent all my time in the library hiding from the bogans...maybe I wasn't bogan material.

    I confess I may or may not have attended a Bluelight disco (in another town).

    When I met my MIL she was a bit culture 'Hill shire' shocked ...though she had her roots in Rooty Hill (and her sister has lived there for over 60 yrs).

    I even moved back there to actually to "MT Druitt" when I worked a nurse.

    I wouldn't want to live there now ..even driving through the streets makes me lock my car doors.

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  17. I don't know how to read and I only have two teeth. I am married to my cousin and live in a trailer. Don't think I'm a bogan though ....;)

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  18. OMG my sides hurt from laughing Woogsie!

    But since when are we not supposed to pass our driving tests by flashing some boob?

    ???

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  19. AH ha ha ha ha ha...I am B!! Yessss
    And the first house I lived in was in Wetherill Park, so yah, I might have to revisit when the time comes to tie the knot!

    Love this post. But seriously, you had me at the picture of Johnny Depp, Owwww!!

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  20. I am a bogan at heart. My four month old has already attended his first Bathurst BBQ decked out in (homemade) Holden gear. All that was missing was a pack of Winnie Blues rolled in to his sleeve.

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  21. I am a big fan of Mrs Woogs also. Congrats for getting her to do a guest post. Did you have to bribe her with alcohol, or did she do it for the simple love of boganism? I remember the tight faded jeans very well, the blue eyeshadow and the big hair. Priceless. I posted some of my 80s moments on my blog recently. Take a look for your viewing pleasure ...

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  22. I confess I had to look up Ed Hardy, so I'm not as big a Bogan as I thought. Might have to rethink the frangi/mermaid tatt though... Love Mrs W. Great post!

    Thanks for Rewinding at the Fibro!

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  23. My inner bogan loved that.

    I think you are really not a true bogan though, until you go to the beach and swim in your jeans...

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  24. Wearing Ugg Boots today. And a wifebeater x

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  25. Surely mullets need a mention......for some of us... er um they may have never left. I also believe the name "Trevor" conjures up the mostest, boganistic image of all time...apologies to any Trevors/Trevs

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